heliocentric@breathe.com
Shaun Hand, Birmingham.
27th October 2000, 7.15pm

IT'S NOT CRICKET
(Difford, Tilbrook)

From 'Cool For Cats', 1979

Chords used:

D:  xx0232    Eb: x6888x
F:  133211    C:  x3555x
Bb: x1333x    G:  320033
A:  x02220    E:  022100
C#: x4666x

D

D
She used to a topless down at the Surrey docks,
F
With tassles on her wotsits, she did a t'riffic job,
D                  Bb           Bb    A         C#    C# Eb
Of raising all the eyebrows, of every lunchtime mob.
F
She went with all the tossers, who kick about a ball,
A
They say their club's the greatest and she has kissed them all,
F              C#            C# C           D
At the Arndale Centre, she's up against the wall.
  D     A    G     A   G      A   D   A
I can't name names cos that's not cricket,
  D     A    G     A          G  A  D  A
I can't name names that would put me in it,
Bb          F            E      A
But that's another story in the finish.

D
I saw them at the pictures, a tangled heap of love,
F
He had so many women, but only classy stuff.
D                Bb        Bb        A      C#          C# Eb
I saw him at the clinic, a pink card up his cuff
F
One holiday in Bognor, a stag night hit the town,
A
The groom was in the car park, with his trousers down,
F                  C#         C#       C     D
But that's another story that won't be going round.
  D     A    G     A   G      A   D   A
I can't name names cos that's not cricket,
  D     A    G     A          G   A  D  A
I can't name names that would put me in it.
Bb          F            E      A
But that's another story in the finish.

D F D Bb A C# Eb
F A F C# C D

D
The Deptford had a beano, to Southend for the night,
F
With forty crates of lager, to see the Southend lights,
D                       Bb         Bb         A        C#      C# Eb
They got home for their breakfast, pissed out of their minds.
F
This girl gave me the minces, so I asked her for a dance,
A
And in the death I kissed, and so I took a chance,
F                  C#             C#       C        D
And when I went to touch her, she tried to break my arm.
  D     A    G     A   G      A   D   A
I can't name names cos that's not cricket,
  D     A    G     A          G   A  D  A
I can't name names that would put me in it.
Bb          F            E      A
But that's another story in the finish.

A                            D A
'Know what I mean, eh? Bob?'