A5 D5 E5 A5                          
I  plopped down in my easy chair and turned on Channel 2   
  
A bad gunslinger called Salty Sam was chasin' poor Sweet Sue   
  
He trapped her in the old sawmill and said with an evil laugh:   
  
"If you don't give me the deed to your ranch, I'll saw you all   
  
in half!"   
  
N/C   
  
And then he grabbed her! (And then)   
  
He tied her up! (And then)   
  
He turned on the bandsaw! (And then, and then...)   
  
Chorus:   
 A5  
Ah ah! And then a long came Jones   
 E5  
Tall thin  Jones   
 A5  
 Slow-walkin' Jones   
 D5  
 (Slow-talkin' Jones)   
 E5 E5 A5  
Along came  long, lean,  lanky  Jones   
  
Verse 2:   
  
Commercial came on, so I got up to get myself a snack   
  
You should've seen what was goin' on by the time that I got   
  
back   
  
Down in the old, abandoned mine, Sweet Sue was a-havin' fits   
  
That villain said, "Give me the deed to your ranch or I'll   
  
blow you all to bits!"   
  
And then he grabbed her! (And then)   
  
He tied her up! (And then)   
  
He lit the fuse to the dynamite! (And then, and then...)   
  
(Chorus)   
  
(instrumental, same pattern as Chorus)   
  
Verse 3:   
  
I got so bugged I turned it off and turned on another show   
  
But there was the same old shoot-'em-up and the same old   
  
rodeo   
  
Salty Sam was tryin' to stuff Sweet Sue in a burlap sack   
  
He said, "If you don't give me the deed to your ranch, I'm   
  
gonna lay you on the railroad tracks!"   
  
And then he grabbed her! (And then)   
  
He tied her up! (And then)   
  
Another train started comin'! (And then, and then...)   
  
(Chorus)   
  
(repeat last line of Chorus and fade)