Bb5 F5 Life is like an ocean voyage and our bodies are the ships C5 A5 D5 D5 And without a moral compass we would all be cast adrift Bb5 F5 So to keep us on our bearings, the Lord gave us a gift C5 C5 And like most gifts you get, it was a book F5 Bb5 I only read one book, but it's a good book, don't you know C5 F5 I act the way I act because the Good Book tells me so F5 F5 Bb5 Bb5 If I wanna known how to be good, it's to the Good Book that I go C5 F5 'Cos the Good Book is a book and it is good and it's a book I know the Good Book's good because the Good Book says it's good I know the Good Book knows it's good because a really good book would You wouldn't cook without a cookbook and I think it's understood You can't be good without a Good Book 'cos it's good and it's a book And it is good for cookin' D5 A5 I tried to read some other books, but I soon gave up on that Bb5 F5 C5 The paragraphs ain't numbered and they complicate the facts A5 D5 I can't read Harry Potter 'cos they're worshipping false gods and that G5 C5 And Dumbledore's a poofter and that's bad, 'cos it's not good Morality is written there in simple white and black I feel sorry for you heathens, got to think about all that Good is good and evil's bad and goats are good and pigs are crap You'll find which one is which in the Good Book, 'cos it's good And it's a book, and it's a book I had a cat, she gave birth to a litter The kittens were adorable and they made my family laugh But as they grew they started misbehavin' So I drowned the little fuckers in the bath When the creatures in your care start being menaces G5 C5 The answers can be found right there in Genesis! D5 Chapter 6, Verse 5-7! G5 Swing your partner by the hand C5 Have a baby if you can D5 But if the voices your head Say to sacrifice your kid G5 To satiate your loving God's C5 Fetish for dead baby blood D5 It's simple faith, the Book demands So raise that knife up in your hand! F5 Bb5 Before the Good Book made us good, there was no good way to know C5 F5 If a thing was good or not that good or kind of touch and go So God decided he'd give writing allegoric prose a go And so he wrote a book and it was generally well-received Bb5 F5 C5 The Telegraph said, "This God is reminiscent of the Norse." Bb5 F5 C5 The Times said, "Kind of turgid, but I liked the bit with horses." A5 D5 The Mail said, "Lots of massacres, a violent tour de force. G5 C5 If you only read one book this year, then this one is a book D5 And it is good, and it's a book!" Swing your daughter by the hand But if she gets raped by a man And refuses then to marry him Stone her to death! E5 B5 If you just close your eyes and block your ears C5 G5 D5 To the accumulated knowledge of the last two thousand years B5 E5 Then morally, guess what? You're off the hook A5 D5 And thank Christ you only have to read one book D5 Just because the book's contents A5 Were written generations hence D5 By hairy desert-dwelling gents A5 Squatting in their dusty tents E5 Just because what Heaven said B5 Was said before they'd leavened bread E5 Just 'cos Jesus couldn't read B5 Doesn't mean that we should need C5 When manipulating human genes G5 To alleviate pain and fight disease C5 When deciding whether it's wrong or right G5 To help the dyin' let go of life D5 Or stop a pregnancy when it's Just a tiny blastocyst B5 E5 There's no reason why we should take a look D5 C5 At any other book G5 But the Good Book A5 'Cause it's good And it's a book D5 And it's a book And it's quite good! G5 G5 Good is good and evil's bad C5 C5 And kids get killed when God gets mad D5 And you'd better take a good look G5 D5 G5 At the Good Book
