Intro:
A F#m D E
A F#m E A
A F#m D E A
A F#m D E
A F#m E A

A    F#min    D         E
Ugly men with beautiful women,

N.C.
You see it...

A       F#m         E     A
All the time in the world today.

N.C.
Why is it...

A    F#m     D    E
Ugly men are so attractive?

A          F#m
Women must look...

N.C.
...deep inside.


                D   A    F#m
They know we're all ugly inside.

E quickly then mute                  A    F#m
'Cause we're all guts and stuff.

    D          E
And bile ducts.

          A          F#m      E
And pancreatic juice.

A
Yeah.

A F#m D E
A F#m E A
A F#m D E A
A F#m D E
A F#m E A

A    F#min    D         E
Ugly men with beautiful women,

N.C.
Women can...

A       F#m         E     A
See right past, the ugly men's looks

N.C.
Isn't it...

A           F#m        D         E
Good to know women are morally superior?

N.C.
Wouldn't it be...

A          F#m           D        E  A
Good if men were morally superior as well?

A                          F#min
Men and women are different,

   D               E
In many varied ways.

A     E    F#min
Women wear dresses,

D        E
Men wear dresses,

   C#min    F#min
We all wear dresses,

    E                   A
And that's where babies come from.

DIALOGUE:
No, stop, stop, stop! Sorry to be "Mr Stoppity-the-Songs", copy?
Why did you stoppity the song?
I just stoppitied the song because that's not where babies come from.
Oooh, look at me. I'm the one in the stripes. I know where babies come from.
I do!
Oooh, I do!
You know, everyone knows where babies come from. Umm... when Mummy and Daddy love each
very much...
It's a miracle!
It's... a little miracle if they do love each other very much.
We don't do that kind of comedy.
When Mummy and Daddy love each other... when they love each other very much, you know,
know... umm... Daddy organises a special harness and fits it to the ceiling, Mummy wears
pig mask, Daddy wears scuba gear, they put their favourite H.R. Puff'n'Stuff record on 
it's on for young and old!
Or young and/or old, depending on the local laws.
THAT'S where babies come from! Uhhhh!

Song Again:

N.C.
Ugly men with beautiful women (are),

Beautiful men with ugly women.

Yeah.

Beautiful men with beautiful women,

Beautiful women with beautiful girls.

YEAH! (Very enthusiastically)

Gorgeous girls with beautiful ladies!

Hot young chicks who can't get enough!

          E        B        Abm
I don't approve of Internet porn,

        E           B         Abm
It's so wrong, it's reprehensible.

F#                                E
         And it wastes your whole day

                     B
It wastes your whole day...