• Song:

    The Ballad Of Barry And Freda Lets Do It

  • Artist:

    Victoria Wood

F 
Freda and Barry sat one night.
Dm
The sky was clear. The stars were bright.
Gm7          C7    Am           D
The wind was soft. The moon was up.
Slower
Gm7               C     C7 
Freda drained her cocoa cup.
F
She licked her lips. She felt sublime.
Dm
She switched off 'Gardeners' Question Time'.
Gm7      C7        Am      D
Barry cringed in fear and dread
Slower
Gm7                    C      C7 
As Freda grabbed his tie, and said:
F
Let's do it! Let's do it,
C7
Do it while the mood is right! 
C7
I'm feeling Appealing.
F                  F7 
I've really got an appetite.
Bb
I'm on fire With desire.
         F                           D7
I could handle half the tenors in a male voice choir.
 G7           C7         F          C7 
Let's do it! Let's do it tonight! ? 
F
I can't do it! I can't do it.
C7
I don't believe in too much sex.
C7
??????This fashion, For passion
F                     F7 
Turns us into nervous wrecks. 
Bb
No derision! My decision
       F                                D7
I'd rather watch 'The Spinners' on the television. 
G7              C7           F        C7
I can't do it; I can't do it tonight.
F
Let's do it! Let's do it,
C7
Do it till our hearts go boom! 
C7
Go native, Creative
F                    F7
Living in the living room.
Bb
This folly is jolly.
F                             D7
Bend me over backwards on me Hostess trolley. 
G7            C7          F       C7
Let's do it! Let's do it tonight!
F
I can't do it! I can't do it.
C7
Me 'eavy breathing days have gone. 
C7
I'm older, Feel colder.
F                              F7
It's other things that turn me on.
Bb
I'm imploring: I'm boring.
F                              D7
Let me read this Catalogue on Vinyl Flooring. 
G7              C7            F       C7
I can't do it. I can't do it tonight.
F
Let's do it! Let's do it,
C7
Have a crazy night of love!
???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????C7
???I'll strip bare. I'll just wear
??F                      F7
Stilettos and an oven glove.
Bb
Don't starve a girl of a palaver.
F                                D7
Dangle from the wardrobe in your Balaclava. 
G7           C7           F       C7
Let's do it! Let's do it tonight!
F
I can't do it! I can't do it.
C7
I know I'd only get it wrong. 
C7
Don't angle for me to dangle.
F                            F7
Me arms 'ave never been that strong. 
Bb
Stop pouting; Stop shouting.
    F                                       D7
You know I pulled a muscle when I did that grouting.
G7              C7            F       C7 
I can't do it; I can't do it tonight.
F
Let's do it! Let's do it,
C7
Share a night of wild romance, 
C7
Frenetic, Poetic!
F7
This could be your last big chance
Bb
To quote Milton, To eat Stilton,
    F                          D7              
To roll in gay abandon on the tufted Wilton. 
G7           C7          F        C7
Let's do it! Let's do it tonight!
F
I can't do it! I can't do it.
?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????C7
I've got other little jobs on hand. 
C7
Don't grouse around the house.
F                       F7
I've got a busy evening planned. 
Bb
Stop nagging; I'm flagging.
F                                 D7   
You know as well as I do that the pipes want lagging.
G7             C7            F        C7 
I can't do it; I can't do it tonight.
F
Let's do it! Let's do it,
C7
While I'm really in the mood! 
C7
Three cheers! It's years
        F                    F7
Since I caught you even semi-nude.
Bb
Be drastic; Gymnastic.
F                                  D7
Wear your baggy Y-fronts with the loose elastic. 
G7           C7          F        C7
Let's do it! Let's do it tonight!
F
I can't do it. I can't do it.
C7
I must refuse to get undressed. 
C7
I feel silly, It's too chilly
   F                     F7 
To go without me thermal vest. 
Bb
Don't choose me; Don't use me.
   F                             D7
Me mother sent a note to say you must excuse me. 
G7             C7             F       C7
I can't do it; I can't do it tonight.
?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
F
Let's do it! Let's do it!
C7
I feel I absolutely must.
C7
I won't exempt you, Want to tempt you,
        F                  F7 
Want to drive you mad with lust. 
Bb
No cautions, Just contortions!
F                        D7
Smear an avocado on me lower portions. 
G7            C7           F      C7
Let's do it! Let's do it tonight!
F
I can't do it. I can't do it.
C7
It's really not my cup of tea. 
C7
I'm harassed, Embarrassed.
  F                         F7
I wish you hadn't picked on me. 
Bb
No dramas! Give me me pyjamas.
    F                           D7
The only girl I'm mad about is Judith Chalmers. 
G7             C7             F       C7
I can't do it; I can't do it tonight.
F
Let's do it! Let's do it!
C7
I really want to run amok. 
C7
Let's wiggle. Let's jiggle.
       F                      F7
Let's really make the rafters rock.
Bb
Be mighty. Be flighty.
F                                D7
Come and melt the buttons on me flameproof nightie.
G7             C7             F       C7
Let's do it! Let's do it tonight!
?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
F
Let's do it! Let's do it!
C7
I really want to rant and rave. 
C7
Let's go, 'Cause I know
     F                   F7 
Just how I want you to behave:
Bb
Not bleakly, Not meekly.
F                              F7 
Beat me on the bottom with my 'Woman's Weekly'.
G7             C7             F       D7
Let's do it! Let's do it tonight!
?G7             C7             F       D7
Let's do it! Let's do it tonight!
(slowly, one chord strum to finish)
G7             C7             F      F C7 F
Let's do it! Let's do it tonight!
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