"My Baby Loves A Bunch of Authors" (MF)
  From "Bargainville"(1994)

   Use a capo on the 4th Fret.

  Intro: C/G (with scat vocals)

                 C/G                    F
 Well you should see my story-reading baby,
             G                    C/G
 you should hear things that she says
           C/G                        F
 She says "Hon, drop dead, I'd rather go to bed
         G              C/G
 with Gabriel Garcia Marquez"

 Cuddle up with William S. Burroughs,
 leave on the light for bell hooks
 I been flirtin' with Pierre Burton
 'cause he's so smart in his books
 
 CHORUS:
    F                C
 I like to go out dancing
     F                       C
 My baby loves a bunch of authors
     F                     C
 My heart's so broke and bleeding
 G                       (G)
 Baby's just sittin' there doing some reading

 |C/G | 

 So I started watching some TV, played my new CD player too
 She said "Turn it off or I'll call the cops, 
 and I'll throw the book at you"

 All this arguing made me get dizzy, 
 called my doctor to came have a look
 I said "Doctor, hurry!",he said: 
"Don't worry,I'll be over when I finish my book"

 I like to go out dancing
 My baby loves a bunch of authors
 We've been livin' in hovels
 Spendin' all our money on brand new novels

 So I got myself on the streetcar 
 and it drove right into someone
 The driver said: "I was looking straight ahead!"
 but he was reading the Toronto Sun

 So my honey and me go to a counsellor,
 to help figure out what we need
 She said: "We'll get your love growin', 
 but before we get goin' here's some
 books I'd like you to read"
 
 I like to go out dancing
 My baby loves a bunch of authors
 Lately we've had some friction 
 'Cos my baby's hooked on short works of fiction
  
 (A Capella verse)

 So we split and went to a party, 
 some friends my girl said she knew
 But what a sight 'cause it's authors night
 and the place looks like a who's who!

 Now I'm poundin' the Ouzo - with Mario Puzo
 Who's a funny fella? - W.P. Kinsella
 Who brought the cat? - would Margaret Atwood?     
 Who needs a shave? - he's Robertson Davies!

 Ondaatje started a food fight,
 salmon mousse all over the scene
 Spilled some dressing on Doris Lessing 
 these writer types are a scream!
 
 I like to go out dancing
 My baby loves a bunch of authors
 We'll be together for ages
 Eating and sleeping and (x2)
 Eating unt sleeping unt
 ..Turning Pages
 Yeaaah.