INTRO C5 C5 F5 G5 G5 x2 VERSE 1 C5 C5 Sid Vicious played a four-string Fender bass guitar and couldn?t sing F5 G5 G5 And everybody hated him except the ones who loved him C5 C5 A ukulele has four strings, but Sid did not play ukulele F5 G5 G5 He did smack and probably killed his girlfriend Nancy Spungen VERSE 2 C5 C5 If only Sid had had a ukulele, maybe he could have been happy F5 G5 G5 Maybe he would not have suffered such a sad end C5 C5 He maybe would have not done all that heroin instead F5 G5 G5 He maybe would?ve sat around just singing nice songs to his girlfriend CHORUS C5 C5 So play your favorite cover song, especially if the words are wrong F5 G5 G5 Cos even if your grades are bad, it doesn?t mean you?re failing C5 C5 Do your homework with a fork and eat your fruit loops in the dark F5 G5 G5 And bring your etch-a-sketch to work and play your ukulele BRIDGE F5 G5 Ukulele small and forceful, ukulele, brave and peaceful C5 F5 You can play the ukulele too it is painfully simple F5 G5 Play your ukulele badly, play your ukulele loudly Bb5 Ukulele banish evil, ukulele save the people, Ukulele gleaming golden on the top of every steeple VERSE 3 C5 C5 Lizzie borden took an axe, and gave her mother forty whacks F5 G5 G5 Then gave her father forty-one, and left a tragic puzzle C5 C5 If only they had given her an instrument, those puritans F5 G5 G5 Had lost the plot completely, see what happens when you muzzle VERSE 4 C5 C5 A person?s creativity and do not let them sing and scream F5 G5 G5 And nowadays it?s worse ?cause kids have automatic handguns C5 C5 It takes about an hour to teach someone to play the ukulele F5 G5 G5 About same to teach someone to build a standard pipe bomb you do the math(s) CHORUS BRIDGE F5 G5 Ukulele, thing of wonder, ukulele, wand of thunder C5 F5 You can play the ukulele too in London and down under F5 G5 Play Joan Jett, and play Jacques Brel and Eminem and Neutral Milk Ho- Bb5 Tell the children crush the hatred, play your ukulele naked If anybody tries to steal your ukulele, let them take it VERSE 5 C5 C5 Imagine there?s no music, imagine there are no songs F5 G5 G5 Imagine that John Lennon wasn?t shot in front of his apartment C5 C5 F5 Now imagine if John Lennon had composed ?Imagine? for the ukulele G5 G5 Maybe people would have truly got the message VERSE 6 C5 C5 You may think my approach is simple-minded and na?ve F5 G5 G5 Like if you want to change the world then why not quit and feed the hungry C5 C5 But people for millennia have needed music to survive F5 G5 G5 And that?s why I?ve promised John that I will not feel guilty VERSE 7 C5 C5 So play your favorite Beatles song and make the subway fall in love F5 G5 G5 They?re only $19.95, that isn?t lots of money C5 C5 Play until the sun comes up and play until your fingers suffer F5 G5 G5 Play LCD Soundsystem songs on your ukulele VERSE 8 C5 C5 Quit the bitching on your blog and stop pretending art is hard F5 G5 G5 Just limit yourself to three chords and do not practice daily C5 C5 You?ll minimize some stranger?s sadness with a piece of wood and plastic F5 G5 G5 Holy fuck it?s so fantastic, playing ukulele VERSE 9 C5 C5 Eat your homework with a fork and do your fruit loops in the dark F5 And bring your etch-a-sketch to work, your flask of jack, your vibrator your fear of heights, your nikon lens VERSE 10 C5 C5 Your mom and dad, your disco stick, your soundtrack from ?Karate Kid? F5 G5 G5 Your ginsu knives, your rosary, your new Rebecca Black CD C5 C5 Your favorite room , your bowie knife, your stuffed giraffe, your new glass eye F5 G5 G5 Your sousaphone, your breakfast tea, your Nick Drake tapes, your giving tree C5 C5 Your ice cream truck, your missing wife, your will to live, your urge to cry F5 C5 Remember we?re all going to die so play your ukulele
