Original transcription by Geordie Keitt, revised by Suuuupaadave. (not me, but 
them on jonathancoulton.com)

Chords:

A (x02220@1)     x0222x
Aaug    x0322x
D (xx0232@1)     xx0232
E.      022100
F#m/C#  x4422x
Faug/C# x4322x
A/C#    x4222x
B7 (x21202@1)    x21202
E7 (020130@1)    022130
F#m/A   x0422x
A7 (x02020@1)    x02020
Dmaj7   xx0222
F#m     244222
Dm6     xx0201

Intro: |A |Aaug||A |Aaug|

Verse 1
A (x02220@1)                          D (xx0232@1)           E (022100@1)This year has been a little crazy for the Andersons
A (x02220@1)                         D (xx0232@1)          E (022100@1)You may recall we had some trouble last year
A (x02220@1)                       D (xx0232@1)            E (022100@1)The robot council had us banished to an asteroid
A (x02220@1)                         D (xx0232@1)     E (022100@1)That hasn't undermined our holiday cheer.

Pre-chorus 1
       F#m/C#           Faug/C#          A/C# (042220@1)               B7And (x21202@1)we know it's almost Christmas by the marks we make on the wall.
           E (022100@1)      E/F# (222100@1)  E7/Ab
That's our favorite time of year.

Chorus
      A (x02220@1)            Aaug (x4322x@1)           F#m/A
Merry Christmas from Chiron Beta Prime,
            A7 (x02020@1)         Dmaj7 (xx0222@1)            F#mWhere (244222@1)we're working in a mine for our robot overlords.
          B7 (x21202@1)                  EDid (022100@1)I say overlords? I meant protectors.
      D (xx0232@1)            Dm6Merry (xx0201@1)Christmas from Chiron Beta Prime.

A | Aaug | A | Aaug

Verse 2
A (x02220@1)                        D (xx0232@1)         E (022100@1)On every corner there's a giant metal Santa Claus,
A (x02220@1)                       D (xx0232@1)         E (022100@1)Who watches over us with glowing red eyes.
A (x02220@1)                          D (xx0232@1)                 E (022100@1)They carry weapons and they know if you've been bad or good.
A (x02220@1)                       D (xx0232@1)      E (022100@1)Not everybody's good but everyone tries.

Pre-chorus 2
        F#m/C#              Faug/C#       A/C# (042220@1)        B7And (x21202@1)the rocks outside the airlock exude ammonia-scented snow.
          E (022100@1)      E/F# (222100@1)  E7/Ab
It's like a Winter Wonderland.

Chorus
      A (x02220@1)            Aaug (x4322x@1)           F#m/A
Merry Christmas from Chiron Beta Prime,
            A7 (x02020@1)         Dmaj7 (xx0222@1)            F#mWhere (244222@1)we're working in a mine for our robot overlords.
          B7 (x21202@1)                  EDid (022100@1)I say overlords? I meant protectors.
      D (xx0232@1)            Dm6Merry (xx0201@1)Christmas from Chiron Beta Prime.

[Keyboard solo. Same chords as Chorus]

A | Aaug | A | Aaug

Verse 3
A (x02220@1)                              D (xx0232@1)              E (022100@1)That's all the family news that we're allowed to talk about.
A (x02220@1)                             D (xx0232@1)      E (022100@1)We really hope you'll come and visit us soon.
A (x02220@1)                     D (xx0232@1)            E (022100@1)I mean we're literally begging you to visit us.
A (x02220@1)                             D (xx0232@1)             E (022100@1)And make it quick before they [MESSAGE REDACTED].

Pre-chorus 3
         F#m/C#             Faug/C#              A/C# (042220@1)           B7Now (x21202@1)it's time for Christmas dinner - I think the robots sent us a pie!
           E (022100@1)     E/F# (222100@1)  E7/Ab
You know I love my soylent green.

Chorus
      A (x02220@1)            Aaug (x4322x@1)           F#m/A
Merry Christmas from Chiron Beta Prime,
            A7 (x02020@1)         Dmaj7 (xx0222@1)            F#mWhere (244222@1)we're working in a mine for our robot overlords.
          B7 (x21202@1)                  EDid (022100@1)I say overlords? I meant protectors.
      D (xx0232@1)            Dm6Merry (xx0201@1)Christmas from Chiron Beta Prime.