(intro)  D5

D5         A5
I judge by what she's wearing
C5             G5
Just how many heads I'm tearing
D5              A5
Off of assholes coming on to her
C5                G5
Each night seems like it's getting worse
D5               A5
And I wish she'd take the night off
C5          G5
So I don't have to fight off
D5            A5
Every asshole coming on to her
C5          G5
It happens every night she works
D5             A5
They'll go and ask the DJ
C5             G5
Find out just what would she say
D5                A5
If they all tried coming on to her
C5                    G5
Don't they know it's never going to work
D5                 A5
They think they'll get inside her
C5                G5
With every drink they buy her
D5              A5
As they all try coming on to her
C5             G5
This time somebody's getting hurt

C5              A5
Here comes the next contestant

D5      A5        C5     G5
Is that your hand on my girlfriend?
D5      A5        C5     G5
Is that your hand?
D5           A5
I wish you'd do it again
C5              G5
I'll watch you leave here limping
D5           A5
I wish you'd do it again
C5              G5
I'll watch you leave here limping
C5              A5              ( D5 )
There goes the next contestant

D5     A5
I even fear the ladies
C5                G5
They're cool but twice as crazy
D5              A5
Just as bad for coming on to her
C5                    G5
Don't they know it's never going to work
D5            A5
Each time she bats an eyelash
C5          G5
Somebody's grabbing her ass
D5             A5
Everyone keeps coming on to her
C5             G5
This time somebody's getting hurt
C5              A5
Here comes the next contestant

D5      A5        C5     G5
Is that your hand on my girlfriend?
D5      A5        C5     G5
Is that your hand?
D5           A5
I wish you'd do it again
C5              G5
I'll watch you leave here limping
D5           A5
I wish you'd do it again
C5              G5
I'll watch you leave here limping
C5              A5              ( D5 )
There goes the next contestant

D5         A5
I'm hating what she's wearing
C5         G5
Everybody here keeps staring
D5                   A5
Can't wait 'til they get what they deserve
C5             G5
This time somebody's getting hurt
C5              A5
Here comes the next contestant

D5      A5        C5     G5
Is that your hand on my girlfriend?
D5      A5        C5     G5
Is that your hand?
D5           A5
I wish you'd do it again
C5              G5
I'll watch you leave here limping
D5           A5
I wish you'd do it again
C5              G5
I'll watch you leave here limping
C5              A5              ( D5 )
There goes the next contestant

D5           A5
I wish you'd do it again
C5                G5
Each night seems like it's getting worse
D5           A5
I wish you'd do it again
C5             G5
This time somebody's getting hurt

C5              A5                  D5
There goes the next contestant