Standard Tuning
EADGBe 



Chord Diagrams


  G-III     B5        C-III     D-V       

e | --3--   e | --2--   e | --3--   e | --5--   
B | --3--   B | --3--   B | --5--   B | --7--   
G | --4--   G | --4--   G | --5--   G | --7--   
D | --5--   D | --4--   D | --5--   D | --7--   
A | --5--   A | --2--   A | --3--   A | --5--   
E | --3--   E | -----   E | -----   E | -----   


  G5         E5        A5        D5

e | --3--   e | --0--   e | --0--   e | --2--
B | --3--   B | --0--   B | --1--   B | --3--
G | --0--   G | --0--   G | --2--   G | --2--
D | --0--   D | --2--   D | --2--   D | --0--
A | --2--   A | --2--   A | --0--   A | -----
E | --3--   E | --0--   E | -----   E | -----







G-III   B5   C-III   D-V






G-III
You pull out your photos of
     B5
Your wedding in the Spring
              C-III   
And you're confronted by your double chin
         D-V
And your bald spot glistening


G-III
You could get a membership
       B5
At the fitness hut down the road,
             C-III
Or you could pick your mouse up and slim yourself down
    D-V
And even give yourself a 'fro.






     G-III
Your high school reunion
   B5
Is coming next Friday
        C-III
And you know everyone will ask to see some
         D-V
Pictures of the babies that you've made.


        G-III
But the problem is your kid's head is big.
      B5
I mean, we're talking "Alien" size here.
           C-III
Well, just cut and paste a hat, or at least a doo rag
       D-V
And it won't seem so severe.






( D-V)          G5        E5
Photoshop your memories.
  A5
A picture's worth a thousand words,
     D5
So a few white lies shouldn't hurt.






     G-III
Your birthday, this past Monday,
      B5
Was a fun day, except for one thing:
     C-III
Your mother-in-law, who makes your skin crawl,
          D-V
Stuck her face in every frame.


G-III
You'd prefer to remember
     B5
That day without her tattooed brows.
    C-III
The simplest solution: decrease the resolution
    D-V
And crop that woman out.






( D-V)          G5        E5
Photoshop your memories.
A5
Your real life may be sub-par,
            D5
But you can be who you want people to think you are.






( D5 )           G-III
Make yourself thin.
              B5
Give yourself abs.
            C-III
Remove that mole.
            D-V
Say "No" to crack.


( D-V)               G-III
Say you went to the Alps
            B5
In a luxury car
               C-III
With a Swedish Model.
     D-V
Just be who you want people to think you are.






( D-V)          G5        E5
Photoshop your memories.
  A5
A picture's worth a thousand words
     D5                               G5
So a few white lies shouldn't hurt.