Transcribed by Rob
Intro:
G5 Eb5 twice
G5 Eb5
I know what you're all wondering
G5 G5
Have Tripod ever been to Japan
Eb5
But you're ignoring a much bigger question
Bb5
Why don't the Japanese have a space program
Eb5
Why aren't there any Japanese astronauts
Bb5 F#5 Ab5
Have you ever seen a Japanese astronau________t
C5
I'll tell you why you haven't seen one
Eb5
I'll tell you why
Bb5 F5 Eb5 G5
You can't do the Japanese Tea Ceremony when you're an astronaut
F5
It's those damn fat gloves
Bb5 F5 Eb5 G5
And you can't do the Japanese Tea Ceremony when you're in zero grav
F5
Cos the tea goes everywhere
G5
The tea goes everywhere
G5 Eb5
Japanese culture's always fanscinated me
G5
From their traditions to their modern way of life
Eb5
But all their elegance and rich history
Bb5
Doesn't sit well with my interest in space
Bb5 F5 Eb5 G5
Because you can't carry out a ninja style assassination dressed as an astronaut
F5
It's the luminous fabric (you're too visible)
Bb5 F5 Eb5 G5
And they don't let you use a samurai sword when you're an astronaut
F5
You might puncture the suit
G5
You might depressurize
F5 G5 F#5
Like a gremlin in a microwa_____ve
Ab5 C#5
But it's those damn fat gloves
F5
They're the main problem
F#5 C#5
You can't nurture your tamagotchi
F5 F#5
You can't make an origami swan
Ab5 A5 Bb5 Eb5
Have you ever tried to get a used panty vending machine into a space shuttle
Eb5 C#5
Well I've tried and they don't let you
F#5
Fucking NASA red tape
Interlude:
G5 Eb5 G5 Eb5 Bb5 Eb5 Bb5 Eb5
G5 Eb5
I couldn't reconcile the two things that I loved
G5
So I threw away my dreams of outer space
Eb5
I had to find myself a whole new job
Bb5
Maybe in the sports arena I would find a place
Bb5 F5 Eb5 G5
But you can't do a Japanese Tea Ceremony when you're a boxing champ
F5
It's those damned fat gloves again
Bb5 F5 Eb5 G5
Those confounded puffy mitts loom in front of my face every night in bed
F5
I'm haunted by fat gloves
Bb5
You can't drink sake, you can't do bukkake
F5
Or ride a Kawasaki
Eb5 F#5
When you're an astronaut
F#(let ring) Ab(let ring)
And they don't let you be an astronaut on Japanese tele
A#(let ring)
Cos you're not enough of a red herring
***************************************************************************
Capo 3rd fret version
Intro:
E5 C5 twice
E5 C5
I know what you're all wondering
E5 E5
Have Tripod ever been to Japan
C5
But you're ignoring a much bigger question
G5
Why don't the Japanese have a space program
C5
Why aren't there any Japanese astronauts
G5 Eb5 F5
Have you ever seen a Japanese astronau________t
A5
I'll tell you why you haven't seen one
C5
I'll tell you why
G5 D5 C5 E5
You can't do the Japanese Tea Ceremony when you're an astronaut
D5
It's those damn fat gloves
G5 D5 C5 E5
And you can't do the Japanese Tea Ceremony when you're in zero grav
D5
Cos the tea goes everywhere
E5
The tea goes everywhere
Back to verse
E5 C5
Japanese culture's always fanscinated me
E5
From their traditions to their modern way of life
C5
But all their elegance and rich history
G5
Doesn't sit well with my interest in space
G5 D5 C5 E5
Because you can't carry out a ninja style assassination dressed as an astronaut
D5
It's the luminous fabric (you're too visible)
G5 D5 C5 E5
And they don't let you(Ooooh) use a samurai sword when you're an astronaut
D5
You might puncture the suit
E5
You might depressurize
D5 E5 Eb5
Like a gremlin in a microwa_____ve
F5 Bb5
But it's those damn fat gloves
D5
They're the main problem
Eb5 Bb5
You can't nurture your tamagotchi
D5 Eb5
You can't make an origami swan
F5 F#5 G5 C5
Have you ever tried to get a used panty vending machine into a space shuttle
C5 Bb5
Well I've tried and they don't let you
Eb5
Fucking NASA red tape
Interlude:
E5 C5 E5 C5 G5 C5 G5 C5
E5 C5
I couldn't reconcile the two things that I loved
E5
So I threw away my dreams of outer space
C5
I had to find myself a whole new job
G5
Maybe in the sports arena I would find a place
G5 D5 C5 E5
But you can't do a Japanese Tea Ceremony when you're a boxing champ
D5
It's those damned fat gloves again
G5 D5 C5 E5
Those confounded putty mitts loom in front of my face every night in bed
D5
I'm haunted by fat gloves
G5
You can't drink sake, you can't do bukkake
D5
Or ride a Kawasaki
C5 Bb5
When you're an astronaut
Bb(let ring) C(let ring)
And they don't let you be an astronaut on Japanese tele
G(let ring)
Cos you're not enough of a red herri
