Capo 5 
Intro: C G Am F7M X 2 
 
C               G 
I gave you a flower  
Am                       F7M 
He gave you a whole bunch 
C               G 
He cut you a diamond 
Am                 F7M 
I cut you your lunch 
 

C                G 
I wrote you a pamphlet  
Am                       F7M 
He wrote her a whole book 
C                       G 
He paid them both to the movies  
Am               F7M 
I stole you a look 
 
Chorus: 
             G Em Am  
I cannot win  
F7M                                    C G Am F7M 
Since the day we watched the move in 
 

C G Am F7M 
(like verse before) 

Another sick joke  

At my expense  

But you cant live your life  

With one eye over the fence 
 
So I wrote you this song 

Her wrote her an operatic medley 

He bought her a car  

I doubled you on my trendy??? 
 
I can't compete 

Since they moved to our street 
 
Solo 
C G Am F7M   X 4 
 

I candidly took you photo 

But it came out a blur 

In their hall hangs a portrait 

He had commissioned for her 
 
And on Valentine's Day 

What was I to do 

She got a ninety-verse sonnet  

I struggled with a haiku 
 
Makes me see red 

But I still couldn't wish them both dead 
 

C G Am F7M 
 
        C G Am F7M 
I'm gonna fail 
             C G Am F7M 
What if I fail 
            C G Am F7M 
He's gonna fail 
                     C G Am F7M 
He could possibly fail 
                     C G Am F7M 
He could possibly fail 
                 C G Am F7M   C 
He's gonna fail