May I have your attention please? 
May I have your attention please? 
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up? 
I repeat will the real Slim Shady please stand up? 
We're going to have a problem here 

(Verse 1) 
Ya'll act like you never seen a white person before 
jaws all on the floor like Pam like Tommy just burst in the door 
started whoopin her ass worse than before 
they first get divorced throwing her over furniture (scream) 
It's the return of the 
"Oh wait, no way, your kidding, he didn't just say what I think he did, did 
And Dr Dre said 
....Nothing you idiots Dr Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement (haha) 
Feminist women love Eminem 
Chicka chicka chicka Slim Shady I'm sick of him 
look at him, walking around grabbing his you know what 
Flipin' the you know who "yeah, but hes so cute though" 
Yea I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose 
but no worse than what's going on in your parent's bedrooms 
Sometimes I wanna get on TV and just let loose, 
but can't, but its cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose 
my bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips 
and if I'm lucky you might just give it a little kiss 
and that's the message that we deliver to little kids 
and expect them not to know what a womens clitoris is. 
Of course they gonna know what intercourse is 
by the time they hit 4th grade, 
they got the discovery channel don't they? 
We ain't nothing but mammals; well some of us cannibals 
who cut other people open like cantaloupes. 
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes 
then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope 
But if you feel like I feel I got the antidote. 
Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes... 

I'm Slim Shady 
Yes I'm the real Shady 
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating 
So won't the real Slim Shady... 
Please stand up, Please stand up, Please stand up 
becuase I'm Slim Shady 
Yes I'm the real Shady 
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating 
So won't the real Slim shady... 
Please stand up, Please stand up, Please stand up 

(Verse 2) 
Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records 
Well I do, so f*** him and f*** you too. 
You think I give a damm about a Grammy? 
Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me. 
"But Slim what if u win wouldn't it be weird?" 
Why? So you guys can just lie to get me here? 
So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears. 
Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs 
So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst 
And hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first. 
Little bitch put me on blast on MTV 
"yeah he's cute but I think he's married to Kim, hehe" 
I should download her audio on mp3 
And show the whole world how you gave Eminem V.D. (scream) 
I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups all you do is annoy me 
So I've been sent here to destroy you 
And theres a million of us just like me 
Who cuss like me 
Who just don't give a f*** like me 
Who dress like me 
Walk, talk and act like me 
It just might be the next best thing 
But not quite me 

(Verse 3) 
I'm like a headtrip to listen to 
Cause I'm only giving you 
things you joke about with your friends inside your living room 
The only difference is I got the balls to say it in front of ya'll 
And I don't gotta be false or sugar coated at all 
I just get on the mic and spit it 
And whether you like to admit it (rip) 
I just shit it better than 90% of you rappers out there 
Then you wonder how can kidz eat up these albums like valiums. 
Its funny cuz at the rate im going when I'm 30 
Ill be the only person in the nursing home flirting. 
Pinching nurses asses when I'm jackin' off with Jergens and I'm jerking 
But this whole bag of viagra isn't working 
And every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin' 
He could be workin at Burger King spitten on your onion rings 
Or in the parking lot circling 
screaming I don't give a f*** 
With his windows down and system up 
So will the real Shady, please stand up 
and put one of those fingers on each hand up 
and to be proud to be outta your mind and outta control 
and one more time, loud as you can, how does it go? 

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