INTRO: G5  D5  A5  D5 
 
     D5                                        G5                     D5 
Slim Chance and the Can't Hardly Playboys are pickin' at your local saloon 
               G5            D5                                         A5 
They got a new song out on Polish Records, it'll be a Polish hit real soon 
      D5                                   G5             D5 
They picked every honky-tonk and bar from here to Timbuktu 
     G5                           D5            A5                      D5 
Slim Chance and the Can't Hardly Playboys are bustin' their butts for you 
 

D5                                           G5              D5 
Out where the cars are up on blocks and the houses are on wheels 
G5                   D5                                         A5 
Slim and a big time bookin' agent, they cooked up a hell of a deal 
       D5                                G5           D5 
They'd pick every Wal-Mart parkin' lot across the USA 
       G5                           D5                         A5                    D5 
If the Good Lord's willin' and the creek don't rise and they figure out how to get paid 
 

   G5 (let ring)                   D5 
No Chance was the only chance the Playboys ever had 
                                                          A5 
No matter how they picked 'em , everything they played was bad 
     D5                                            G5                   D5 
Then Slim come along and he played the songs that stick right in your head 
     G5                           D5            A5                    D5 
Slim Chance and the Can't Hardly Playboys are really a-knockin' 'em dead 

SOLO 
 

D5                        G5                  D5 
Esmeralda Muckinfuch was Slim's good timin' gal 
    G5              D5                             A5 
She wasn't much to look at but Slim loved her anyhow 
             D5                                  G5                  D5 
You couldn't beat her when she's sober, but you had to when she's drunk 
       G5                      D5                 A5                  D5 
We all called her the Country Kitty, 'cause she smelled just like a what in the world was that? 
 

     G5 (let ring)               D5 
Slim Chance could be anyone who hangs out in a bar 
                                        A5 
Or any local yokel who sings and plays guitar 
        D5                                   G5                  D5 
All the boys and girls around the world now they know who they are 
     G5                   D5                     A5          D5 
Slim Chance is about the best chance that they got to be a star 

SPOKEN: 
D5                                               G5        D5 
Yesterday I couldn't even spell star, and now I are one 
        G5                  D5 
I say I ain't but a star I are 
                                      A5 
Do they not know who we think we are? 
                                         
I'm tellin' ya we're gonna get 500 a gig or we ain't playin! 
D5  
I think we need some of them whores dejours 
                 G5                                      D5 
And some of them carrots and other things people get in back of the stage 
                            G5                                                        D5 
We need some of them little sausages on toothpicks, maybe a dressing room (that'd be good) 
A5  D5 

INTRO
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