NUMBERS
Recorded by Bobby Bare
Written by Shel Silverstein

G (320003@1)                                           DI (xx0232@1)was sittin' here Friday suppin' on a glass of wine
                                           GWhen (320003@1)in walked a chick who almost struck me blind
                                              CShe (x32010@1)had wet blue eyes and her legs were long and fine
     D (xx0232@1)                                       GOn (320003@1)a scale of ONE to TEN (pause) I'd give her a NINE.

G (320003@1)                                  DNow (xx0232@1)on my scale there ain't no TEN's, you know
                                   GNINE (320003@1)is about as far as any chick can go
                                                    CSo (x32010@1)I flashed her a smile, but she didn't even look at me
        D (xx0232@1)                                GSo (320003@1)for brains and good judgement, give her a THREE.

G (320003@1)                                        DI (xx0232@1)said, hey sweet thing, you look like a possible EIGHT
                                                      GYou (320003@1)and me could, uh! make EIGHTEEN, if your head's on straight
                                CShe (x32010@1)looked up and down my perfect frame
        D (xx0232@1)                                    GAnd (320003@1)said these words that burned into my perfect brain.

G (320003@1)                                   DShe (xx0232@1)said, well, another one of those macho Texas men
                                           GTryin' (320003@1)to grade all women on scales of ONE to TEN
                                                              CAnd, (x32010@1)uh!, you give me an EIGHT, well, that's a generous thing to do
      D (xx0232@1)                              GNow, (320003@1)let's just see, just how much I give you.

(CHANGE TO KEY OF A)
   A (x02220@1)                                               EShe (022100@1)said you comin' on to me with that phony NUMBERS jive
                                      AYour (x02220@1)style makes me smile, I give it a FIVE
                                           DWhen (xx0232@1)you walked up I noticed that suit of (yores)
     E (022100@1)                                            AIt's (x02220@1)last year's double knit-french cuffs, give it a FOUR.

A (x02220@1)                                 EThat (022100@1)must be your car parked out on the curb
                                                    AThat (x02220@1)'SIXTY-NINE homemade convertible, A THREE and A THIRD
                                         DI (xx0232@1)saw that build, I guess (yore) less than FIVE
     E (022100@1)                                       ASaid, (x02220@1)for your pot belly, I'd give that a TEN for size.

A (x02220@1)                                  EThat (022100@1)wine you're pourin' might be fine to you
                                          ABut (x02220@1)I'm used to fine champagne, I give it a TWO
                                            DIt's (xx0232@1)hard to tell what your flashin' smile is worth
      E (022100@1)                                 AI (x02220@1)give it a SIX, you could use some dental work.

A (x02220@1)                                                EBut, (022100@1)It's your struttin' rooster act that really makes me laugh
                                                             AIt (x02220@1)may be a TEN to these country hens, but to me a THREE and A HALF
                                                      DAnd (xx0232@1)there really ain't much to add once the subtractin's done
    E (022100@1)                                      AAnd (x02220@1)since there ain't no ZEROes, I give you a ONE.

A (x02220@1)                           EShe (022100@1)walked out, while up and down the line
                                                            AThe (x02220@1)whole bar was laughin', sayin' BARE, what happened to your NINE
                                               DNINE (xx0232@1)says I, hell soon as she started to talk I knew
    E (022100@1)                                      AShe (x02220@1)didn't have no class, I barely gave her a TWO.

(TALK) Yeah! No matter how good they look at first
There's flaws in all of them
That's why on a scale of TEN to ONE, friend
There ain't no TEN.

                                                                                            
                        
                        
                        
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