Intro: 
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I s'pose you know, I'm no John bloody Farnam , 
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But then again I don't pretend to be, 
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But he's ya favorite rocker, and I'm just your average ocker, 
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But his sloppy love songs make ya slide right off ya seat. 
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So I thought fuck it, if John can do it I can, 
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So I wrote a song that'll make you slide away, 
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And I recon my songs better, and I'll bet it gets ya wetter, 
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It's called I'm gettin' dinkim' 'bout ya darlin, 
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'cause I've had a fat all day. 
 
 
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But then again, I know sweet fuck all 'bout love songs, 
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Are they supposed to make ya smile or make ya sad, 
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And I don't wanna offend ya, so it's probably best I don't mention, 
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The funny noises ya make each time we shag. 
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And I find it hard to explain the way you got me feelin', 
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But I'd recommend ya as a root ta all me mates, 
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And it goes without me sayin', you give the best head in Australia, 
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I'm gettin' dinkim' 'bout ya darlin, 
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'cause I've had a fat all day. 
 
 
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And I remember the very first time I said, "I love you", 
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You looked back at me and smiled and said, "I love you too", 
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So perhaps one day you'll hear me love song on the wireless, 
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And ya bloody would too if I could just have me way, 
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And I'd cut me fuckin' arm off, just to hear John bloody Farnam , 
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Sing, "I'm gettin' dinkim' 'bout ya darlin, 
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'cause I've had a fat all day". 
 
Play intro: 
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I never thought that I'd get roped in, by the old hairy lassoo, 
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But I tell ya what I'll dedicate, me next ten wanks to you... and the next ten too... 
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So there ya go ya see, I wrote ya fuckin' love song, 
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And I hope ya like the things I tried to say, 
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Now there's only one thing missin', and that's Johny Farnam singin', 
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I'm gettin' dinkim' 'bout ya darlin, 
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'cause I've had a fat all day,  No bull shit. 
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I'm gettin' dinkim' 'bout ya darlin, 
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'cause I've had half a bar all day. 
 
Outro: 
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