A5 (palm muted. Got that same beat as on the real adds) Spoken: Joining today's modern defense force is hard enough. First you have to choose: Navy, Airfoce, Army, Kiss Army, Salvation Army, Army of Darkness, but even when you've chosen, you have to make the grade. (All chords palm muted for first verse) Verse: A5 F5 I'm way too skinny for the Army? A5 G5 Way too slender for the job? A5 F5 What can I do if my country doesn't want me cause A5 G5 My talents only stretch to mini golf? A5 F5 I'm way too uncool for the Army A5 G5 All that running through car tyres A5 F5 I guess that would come in handy if you invaded A5 G5 A country whose terrain was all car tyres. Chorus:(clean) C5 But I'm skinny and unclever A5 Maybe now more than ever F5 G5 The technology has caught up with me A5 If wars have gone all electronic C5 I could fight them with my joystick F5 G5 As long as they bring pizza to me C5 Then I could be in the Army. Verse 2: A5 F5 It's not tricky to imagine C5 G5 A5 Me in a bunker at a screen F5 Controlling reconaisance robots C5 Maybe mine detecting robots G5 Even robots who run through tyres Chorus: C5 But I'm skinny and unclever A5 Maybe now more than ever F5 G5 The technology has caught up with me A5 If wars have gone all electronic C5 I could fight them with my joystick F5 G5 While watching McLeod's Daughters on TV A#5 Then I could be in the Army. Verse 3: F5 I was never good at Pacman C5 A#5 But at Defender I'd light up the skies F5 I was never good at Frogger C5 A#5 It's much to much like hopping all the tyres F5 And if I don't get in the Army C5 A#5 I could become an evil mastermind F5 Live in an underwater tower C5 A#5 And wearing shiny skivvies all the time C5 That would be fine Chorus: C5 Skinny and unclever A5 Maybe now more than ever F5 G5 The technology has caught up with me, (If I could make up my mind) A5 If wars have gone all electronic C5 I could fight them with my joystick F5 G5 As long as they bring pizza to me C5 Then I could be in the Army____.
