C                     G
My uncle Charlie is a cynical man
        C                        G
And his wife's a touch sceptical too
            C                            G
They've got one of those stickers in the back of their van
         C                            G
It says "We've seen the prices at the zoo"
       C                                 G
Well today I knocked upon their door and said that I was passing
    C                             G
And Charlie launched a scathing attack
       C                                    G
When I asked him what I'd done he said "You stupid bastard
   C                G       C G C G
We live in a cul-de-sac".
C                           G
Went to Dali's party it was fancy dress
C                           G
I just stuck an apple in my face
  C                            G
I saw a chap who obviously was out to impress
C                              G
Reckoned he beat Gagarin in to space
         C        G          C         G
He said "Hi there Salv, like sorry I'm late
          C            G             C         G
But I was getting done up as a Mogul Thrash Acetate"
C        G         C      G
Me I got bored, so I went home
C        G       C              G
Got into bed and came to the conclusion:
G                C
There is nothing better in life
     D              C            D              G
Than writing on the sole of your slipper with a biro,
G                C
There is nothing better in life
     D              C            D              G
Than writing on the sole of your slipper with a biro,
G                C
There is nothing better in life
     D              C            D              G
Than writing on the sole of your slipper with a biro,
G                C      
There is nothing better in life
     D              C            D              C
Than writing on the sole of your slipper with a biro
     D                         D7           G
On a Saturday night instead of going to the pub.