Am                        E
Give us this day our daily dose of faux affliction
Am
Forgive our sins
                   F 
Forged at the pulpit with forked tongues selling faux sermons.
 Am                                E
'Cause I am a new wave gospel sharp, and you'll be thy witness
 Am                                 F                                   G
So gentlemen, if you're gonna preach, for God sakes preach with conviction!
G               Am
Strike up the band! 
Am
Whoa-oh, the conductor is begging me
E
Come congregation, let's sing it like you mean it
F                                                     G
No. Don't you get it, don't you get it? Now don't you move.
G               Am
Strike up the band!
Am   
Whoa-oh, the conductor is begging me
E
Come congregation, let's sing it like you mean it
F                                                     G
No. Don't you get it, don't you get it? Now don't you move.
E
Just stay where I can see you. 
          Am            F
Douse the lights!
F                    E    Am
We sure are in for a show tonight

Repeat this for the rest of the song.:D