Beginging is minor barre chords starting at E on the A string, down to D on A, then a C 
power chord rooted on A, then a G Power chord rooted on A at the 10th fret. (I think 
that's right, it was kind of a PITA to figure out)

Intro: (Barre) Em Dm (power chord) C G

G (320003@1)                     C (x32010@1)name="chord_320003@1">G (Done quickly)
I used to be a dead guy
G (320003@1)                     C (x32010@1)name="chord_320003@1">G (done quickly
Now I'm a fuckin' Jedi
Em (022000@1)                  DAnd (xx0232@1)I've got lots of news for you
Em (022000@1)                D (xx0232@1)     CAnd (x32010@1)I've got a long list of things to do
G (320003@1)                            C (x32010@1)name="chord_320003@1">G (Done quickly)
I used to dwell on the present
G (320003@1)                            C (x32010@1)name="chord_320003@1">G (Done quickly)
I used to be so Hesitant
Em (022000@1)                           DBut (xx0232@1)now I've got my whole life to live
Em (022000@1)                        D (xx0232@1)    Am (x02210@1)                  
Cm (staccato)
And I've got all my love to give to all you fuckers that I hayayate
G (320003@1)                            C (x32010@1)name="chord_320003@1">G
It's like the Gift of the Magi
G (320003@1)                            C (x32010@1)name="chord_320003@1">G
It's like the Gift of the Magi 2!
Em (022000@1)                      DYou (xx0232@1)sold your soul to buy some tits
Em (022000@1)                      DI (xx0232@1)sold my soul to grow a diiiiiiick
G (320003@1)                            C (x32010@1)name="chord_320003@1">G
We've gotta get him in the van
G (320003@1)                C (x32010@1)name="chord_320003@1">G
What if he resists?
Em (022000@1)                    DKick (xx0232@1)him in the back of the fuckin' head
Em (022000@1)                    DPut (xx0232@1)him in the back of the fuckin' Vayayayan
G (320003@1)                      C (x32010@1)name="chord_320003@1">G
It's a miracle of science,
G (320003@1)                      C (x32010@1)name="chord_320003@1">G
This portrayal of violence
Em (022000@1)               DIt (xx0232@1)lives inside us all
Em (022000@1)               Dit (xx0232@1)lives inside our hearts
Am (x02210@1)                     Cm(staccato) (x3101x@1)Just like a stupid fucking tape wooooorm

Play into
Who can we blame?
G (320003@1)                           C (x32010@1)name="chord_320003@1">G
The husband divorced his wife
G (320003@1)                    C (x32010@1)name="chord_320003@1">G
after she cut her hair
Em (022000@1)                     Dbecause (xx0232@1)she was way less fuckable
Em (022000@1)            DAnd (xx0232@1)that's just unforgiveable
G (320003@1)               C (x32010@1)name="chord_320003@1">G
Moved into a condo
G (320003@1)                      C (x32010@1)name="chord_320003@1">G
and hung out by the POOOL
Em (022000@1)              DHe (xx0232@1)never wore a bathing suit
Em (022000@1)                            DBecause (xx0232@1)he wanted scope out the talent
G (320003@1)                       C (x32010@1)name="chord_320003@1">G
If god doesn't like ugly
G (320003@1)                    C (x32010@1)name="chord_320003@1">G
He does't like anybody
Em (022000@1)           DFuck (xx0232@1)god anyway
Em (022000@1)           DHe's (xx0232@1)osbsolete
Am (x02210@1)              Cm(staccato) (x3101x@1)My god thinks my jokes are funny

Intro
There is no one to blame

People are just fuckin' mean

GO ?SONS?