C5                                      G5
Oh my god there's scenesters everywhere
C5                                      G5
With their hair gel and their vintage t-shirts
C5                                      G5
Why didn't the shins come to phoenix?
C5                                      G5
And why didn't mirah come to phoenix?

A5
Because the modified is too small
E5
And the marquis is too big
C5
And the complex is rightfully dead
F5                            A5                E5                  
And the hipsters with their snide comments and aversion to applause
C5   G5
C5                                      G5
Oh my god hardcore kids everywhere
C5                                             G5
With their hair gel and their color green
C5                   G5                C5                            G5
How do they look so good while their convictions remain so strong?

              A5                                     E5
Because their hair gel that they use isn't tested on animals
          C5                             F5
And their swallow tattoos are fucking lame
    A5                       E5
And cocaine is essentially vegan
         C5                 F5
And they don't give a fuck anyway
           C5 [pause]           G5 [pause]
They're so vain, and yes, this song is about them
C5                                      G5
C5                                      G5
C5                                      G5
Oh my god post-hardcore kids everywhere
C5                                      G5
With their violence and pomposity
C5                                      G5
So fucking straightedge getting high off of self-righteousness
C5                                      G5
And praying to a sideways cross
   A5        E5             C5                       F5
So urban, so infantile, so angry, so young, and so poor
A5                       E5 [pause]               
They don't need to use a crutch 'cuz they've got the wheelchair
C5                                      G5
C5                                      G5
Oh my god there's assholes everywhere
C5                                      G5
Pretentious fucking assholes everywhere
C5                                      G5
Oh my god there's assholes everywhere
C5                                      G5
Pretentious judgmental assholes everywhere 
End on G.