A         D                 E 
MAYBE YOU THOUGHT I WAS THE PACKARD 
              C#m    B 
GOOSE 
       A      D 
OR THE RONALD MCDONALD OF THE 
E                     C#m   B 
NOUVEAU-ABSTRUSE 
          A                       D                      E 
WELL FUCK ALL THEM PEOPLE, I DON'T NEED 
           A             G      D     E 
NO EXCUSE FOR BEING WHAT I AM 
C#m              B 
DO YOU HEAR ME, THEM? 
                 A                       D 
ALL THEM ROCK 'N' ROLL WRITERS IS THE 
E                      A   B 
WORST KIND OF SLEEZE 
              A                      D 
SELLING PUNK LIKE SOME NEW KIND OF 
E                            A   B 
ENGLISH DISEASE 
                       A                  D 
IS THAT THEM WAVE OF THE FUTURE 
G    D              E 
AW, SPARE ME PLEASE 
 

C#m         B    (chord set 1) 
OH NO YOU GOTTA GO 
C#m                  B 
WHO DO YOU WRITE FOR,I WANNA KNOW 
   A           B         C#m 
I BELIEVE YOU IS THE GOVERNMENT'S 

WHORE 
F# 
AND KEEPING PEOPLES DUMB IS WHERE 
A 
YOU'RE COMING FROM 

(TWICE) 
 

A                        D                           E 
FUCK ALL THEM WRITER WITH THE PEN IN 
                              C#m   B 
THEIR HAND 
            A               D                       E 
I WILL BE MORE SPECIFIC SO THEY MIGHT 
                               C#m    B 
 UNDERSTAND 
                    A               D 
THEY CAN ALL KISS MY ASS 
        E                           A 
BUT BECAUSE IT'S SO GRAND 
         G                D      E 
THEY BEST JUST STAY AWAY, HEY, HEY, 

HEY. 
 
(CHORD SET 1) 

HEY JOE WHO DID YOU BLOW? 

MOE PUSHED THE BUTTON BOY 

AND YOU WENT TO THE SHOW 

BETTER SUCK A LITTLE HARDER OR THE 

SHEKELS WONT FLOW 

AND I DON'T MEAN YOU THUMB 

SO ON YOUR KNEES YOU BUM 

JUST TELL YOURSELF IT'S YUM 

AND SUCK IT TILL ITS NUMB 
 

F# 
JOURNALISM'S KINDA SCARY 
A 
AND OF IT WE SHOULD BE WARY 
F# 
WONDER WHAT BECAME OF MARY? 

A etc. . . 

HI! IT'S ME. THE GIRL FROM THE BUS 

REMEMBER THE LAST TOUR, WELL 

INFORMATION IS NOT KNOWLEDGE 

WISDOM IS NOT TRUTH 

TRUTH IS NOT BEAUTY 

BEAUTY IS NOT LOVE 

LOVE IS NOT MUSIC 

MUSIC IS THE BEST 

WISDOM IS THE DOMAIN OF THE WIZ 

WHICH IS EXTINCT 

BEAUTY IS A FRENCH PHONETIC 

CORRUPTION 

OF A SHORT CLOTH NECK ORNAMENT 

CURRENTLY IN RESURGENCE 
 

     A                D                       E 
IF YOUR IN THE AUDIENCE AND LIKE WHAT 
              C#m   B 
WE DO 
               A                    D 
WELL WE WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT WE 
E                                 C#m  B 
LIKE YOU ALL TOO 
        A                D                           E 
BUT AS FOR THE SUCKER WHO WILL WRITE 
       C#m 
THE REVIEW 
 

E      C#m     A       B    etc, etc../ 
IF HIS MIND IS PREHENSILE 
HE'LL PUT DOWN HIS PENCIL 
AND HAVE HIMSELF A SQUAT 
ON THE COSMIC UTENSIL 
GIVE IT ALL YOU GOT 
ON THE COSMIC UTENSIL 
SIT AND SPIN UNTIL YOU ROT 
ON THE COMIC UTENSIL 
HE REALLY NEEDS TO SQUAT 
ON THE COSMIC UTENSIL 
 
NOW THAT I GOT THAT OVER WITH 
ILL JUST PLAY MY IMAGINARY GUITAR 
AGAIN