(intros just the same chords for the verses: D, G, A) D5 The A is for my authority G5 Which many players seem to question, A5 Thinking they're somehow going to make me change my mind D5 B is for babies G5 Which a lot of managers cry like A5 After a decision has not gone their way D5 G5 C is for the continual criticism I recieve from the touchline A5 Get back in your technical area! D5 D is for the dunderheads G5 Who seem to think we have a conspiracy A5 Against their particular team D5 E is for the eery silence that echoes around the ground G5 After I've booked the home teams player A5 And it's obvious to everyone that he deserved it D5 F is the farce into which most games would descend if we werent there G5 The G is for the gnarled face of someone whos on 90,000 a week A5 And reckoned he should have had a throw in D5 H is for handball G5 Which has to be intentional and very rarely is A5 If only people would study the rules more D5 I is for innocence, pleaded by many a doe-eyed defender G5 After they've just scythed down that tricky winger A5 J is for ju-jitsu, which i quite intend to display given a dark alley D5 And some of the narky blerts ive encountered G5 K is for the kissing of the badge A5 How ridiculous that looks 6 months later when they're at another club D5 G5 L is for lip reading, at which you don't need to be an expert A5 To see how odious some people are D5 M is for the mistakes we sometimes make G5 A5 Surely a bit of controversy is part of the games appeal D5 G5 The N, the N is for the numbskull who during the boxing day game A5 Asks me what else i got for christmas besides my whistle D5 An afternoon with your wife mate D5 The O is for offside G5 A5 Which many forwards tell me they simply could not have been D5 The P is for the penalty shootout G5 A5 Great drama and no pressure on me D5 Q is the quiet word i sometimes need to have G5 With some of the more fiery participants A5 I usually choose the word 'pleat' D5 R is for running backwards G5 A5 A difficult skill which the pundits never seem to appreciate D5 G5 S is for the suggestion that i should have awarded a card of some sort A5 To a player whos just been awarded a free kick (mute the strings and strum ) Sorry i got all that wrong the S again D5 Okay the S, the S is the suggestion that i should show a card to an opponent G5 By a player whos been awarded a free kick A5 He himself is more in danger of getting one for that D5 T is for the 21 man brawl G5 A5 Whiuch is basically an embarrassing scene of pushing and shoving D5 U is for the umpire which i sometimes wish I'd been instead G5 A5 You never hear a cricket crowd shouting whos the bastard in the hat D5 G5 The V is for vitriol vilification vendetta and volley of verbal abuse A5 Some good bird noises there by the way D5 W is for walter pidgeon G5 Whos mr Griffiths in 'how green was my valley' A5 I may have started to sound like during this song D5 'where was the light i thought to see in your eye' G5 A5 He says that to a young huw played by roddy McDowall D5 The X G5 The X represents the sarcastic kiss planted on my forehead by the swarthy A5 potugese center half Whom i just dismissed D5 The Y is for Yate G5 A5 The kind of town referees come from D5 And the Z G5 A5 Well the Z could be for Zidane, Zico, Zola, Zubizaretta, Zoff Even Zondervan D5 But is in fact for the zest with which we approach our work G5 Without this zest for the game we wouldn't become refs A5 And without refs, well zero D5 See also Zatopek, Zeus G5 And Zeal Monachorum D5 I have a caravan there G5 Static naturally A5 D5 etc... (Wouldnt it be fun if the gave the ref a gun) contiune the "D G A" until the end (although, if your like me when it comes to the end you just press play and start it all again)
