Tabbed by: mntlinstituteflr (Patrick Cason) A capella *** I took her with me to the Christmas office party ? mistake A capella *** She did a line and started spouting all her liberal garbage A capella *** Bro, I'm so ashamed F7M G I never heard such shit in all my life F7M G Dm E I hoped one day to mold you into the perfect wife E But you blew my hopes sky-high Am The bitch went nuts C Started talking 'bout politics G In front of all my bosses Dm Bullshit from the internet Am The bitch went nuts C I'll never be a partner at this rate G Dm Not with Jane fucking Fonda Jr. as my date F7M F6 F7M Oh no! F7M G F7M F6 F7M Oh no, no! F7M F6 Oh! (Solo over Am ) A capella *** (Trill over Am ) It took me and a couple of men to restrain her, you should've seen her A capella *** (Trill over Am ) When she freaked out and keyed John Franklin Jr.'s brand new Beamer F7M G She called us bigots with her fist in the air F7M G Dm E And as she did they all could see all her armpit hair E Now they think that I'm a fucking asshole Am The bitch went nuts C Started talking about vegetables G To the wives of my coworkers Dm Yeah, cruelty to animals Am C She thinks because she reads books she must be smarter G Dm But now when I close my eyes, I'll be fucking Jimmy Carter F7M F6 F7M Oh no! F7M G F7M F6 F7M Oh no, no! F7M F6 F7M G Oh, no no! F7M F6 Oh, no no! Am G Dm Couldn't you have just nodded and smiled, from nine to twelve P.M. C6 G Instead of telling your conspiracy theories Dm To all my bosses E And all my friends? Am The bitch went nuts (Nuts!) C Started putting down the Christians G And all about what the white man Dm Did to the Indians Am C How could I know that she never done blow before? G She shouted, "Fuck Dick Cheney!" Dm Then she puked on Franklin's floor (Solo on Am / C / G / Dm chords) Oh no! F7M F6 F7M Oh no! F7M G F7M F6 F7M Oh no, no! F7M F6 F7M G Oh, no no! F7M F6 Oh, no no!