(intro A D E A, A D E
A                   D   E             A
Found a nice little cove where nobody else goes
                       D
Took a trip 'round the Caves of Drach
               E
And said 'It's good to explore the more cultural aspects'.
A            D     E                A
Hedley Verityesque, she passed into folklore
                         D
Trod on the lines in the pavement
                     E
And said 'There's no room for enigmas in built-up areas'.
C                        Am
Sweats who think they're hard, sweats who think they're hard
   C              Am
My head no end do in, head no end do in
Dm                 Am   Dm          Am
Brakes fail in the rain down memory lane
Dm                               E
Come re-live my paper round with me.
A                   D                     E              A
And I don't see any more, I don't see any more pent up Alsatians
                         D
They used to wait by the door
              E
And say 'It's nice to know you're here, it's nice to know you're here'.
A                    D                      E                 A
And I don't want any more, I don't want any more stark German film noirs
                        D
And I could well do without
    E                                                 C Am C Am
The handclapping sequence at the end of Blockbusters.
Dm             Am    Dm               Am
You were in my hall, now you're on my wall
Dm                         E              A      D E A, D E
Peter Sarstedt, Mister Irony - get in the hole.
C              Am
In some warm lagoon, in some warm lagoon
     C              Am
I'll be with Ayshea soon, be with Ayshea soon
Dm                 Am   Dm          Am
Brakes fail in the rain down memory lane
Dm                               E
Come re-live my paper round with me.
A                   D                     E              A
And I don't see any more, I don't see any more big mad Alsatians
                         D
They used to wait by the door
               E
And sing 'It's nice to know you're here, it's nice to know you're here'.
A                    D                      E                 A
And I don't need any more, I don't need any more stark German film noirs
                        D
And I could well do without
    E
The handclapping sequence at the end of Blockbusters

When all of the audience try to convince themselves

That what they're doing is silly but acceptable
                                    E7     A
And the only thing I can say is 'Oh Kip Keino'.