If You Really Loved Me
Tim Minchin
Tabbed by: Patrick Cason
GmIf (355333@1)you really loved me
D7/F#the (200212@1)way you say you do
Bb/F
If you love me half as much
C7/E
as I love you
Cm7/Eb BbYou (x1333x@1)would pluck a planet from the sky
A (x02220@1) DYou'd (xx0232@1)use a star to dot the "i"
Gm (355333@1) D7/F#In (200212@1)I love you... that is what you'd do
Bb/FYou'd (102220@1)take a dreary day
C7/E
and you would paint it blue
Cm7/Eb BbIf (x1333x@1)you loved me unconditionally
AThese (x02220@1)are the things
Dthat (xx0232@1)you would do for me
Because I need you
Like a fish needs the sea
Like a fire needs oxygen
Like a flower needs a bee
And if you really care for me
You'd let me video you while you wee
Standing up in the bath,
I shouldn't even have to ask
Perhaps you'll even store
a little more in a flask
These are just the things that people do
A (x02220@1) D (xx0232@1) GmWhen (355333@1)their love for one another is true
Ba da da
We go together
Like a cracker and Brie
Like racism and ignorance
Like bling and R&B
But if you really want to show you care
You'd let me wear your underwear
When we visit your mum's,
it's a bit of harmless fun
I just like talking about your childhood
with some lace between my buns
There's no reason for a big to-do
If your love for one another is true
Ba da da
We go together
Like a bird in a nest
Like Internet and porn
Like guns and the US
And if you love me
like you say that you do
You'd purchase forty cockatoo
And teach them to fly
in formation in the sky
And shit the words "Tim is God"
on my ex-girlfriend's Hyundai
Sure, it might be easier with doves
But shirking challenges is not what love
EbIs (x43121@3)all about
D (xx0232@1) EbLove (x43121@3)is not all wine and roses
D (xx0232@1) EbSometimes (x43121@3)it's handcuffs and cheese
C/E (x3111x@5) FNo-one (133211@1)said love is for free
Am/EAnd (x02210@1)if you agree with that
Cm/Eb
You'll sing me passages from the Koran
D7 (xx0212@1) Gmwearing (355333@1)nothing but a Bob the Builder hat
Dmaj#5/Gb (or... D/Gb)
To the tune of waltzing Matilda
Dm/F Gm/E
I just love the combination of Islam,
Eb/F F (133211@1) Enationalism (022100@1)and buil--der
--*SOLO*-- (Best of luck...)
(Builder)
(Islam)
(Nationalism)
(And a little bitty builder)
(Islam)
(Ozzy Ozzy Ozzy)
(And Bob the fucking Builder)
... (Let Bob the fucking Builder!)
AmBecause (x02210@1)I need you
E7/Ab
Like a tick needs a tock
C/GLike (3x555x@1)bananas need pyjamas
D7/F#Like (200212@1)a nun needs cock
Dm7/F CBut (x32010@1)if you want to put your love for me first
B (x2444x@1) EYou (022100@1)wouldn't go through childbirth
AmYou'd (x02210@1)agree to adopt
E7/Ab
so that you could stay thin
C/GWe'll (3x555x@1)get a Chinese kid,
D7/F#it (200212@1)could teach us Mandarin
Dm7/F CAnd (x32010@1)communists don't make as much noise
BAnd (x2444x@1)they're really good
E (022100@1) Am (x02210@1) Gat (320003@1)sharing their toys
CmBecause (x3101x@1)I dig you
G/BLike (143121@7)an Aussie digs pies
EbLike (x43121@3)Born-Agains dig Jesus
F7/A
Like Jesus dug guys
Fm7/Ab GAnd (320003@1)if you love me unconditionally
D (xx0232@1) GYou'd (320003@1)do my tax return for me
CmCos (x3101x@1)it's way overdue,
G/Band (143121@7)I just don't know,
EbI (x43121@3)guess I'm self-employed
F7/A
but do I still pay as I go?
Fm7/Ab GAnd (320003@1)does the threshold apply to me?
C (x32010@1) GAnd (320003@1)should I register for GST?
C (x32010@1) GAnd (320003@1)if you love me unconditionally
A (x02220@1) D (xx0232@1) GmWould (355333@1)you let me video you while you wee?
CAssuming (x32010@1)there's nothing worth watching on the ABC
